Government

Sunday was the letter G.

If you would have asked me before I met Todd if I would ever consider marrying someone in the military, I would have said Hell No. I had a picture in my head of what a military wife was: how she behaved, what she thought, her views on life, etc. That was not who I was, and what I thought then is not who I am now. The media sometimes portrays military wives as uneducated babymakers, so that's the idea I (sadly) had in my head. Women I've met who share my role as military wife, as well as myself, have helped me create a new picture in my head of who we are. It's a little blurry, because as corny as this sounds, we're all different. Of course my current stereotype exists in the military community--it exists everywhere, and it wouldn't be a stereotype if it didn't. I'm just glad I don't perpetuate it.

That being said, I'm supposed to be talking about the government. One of the reasons I never thought I'd be in this position is the government, and politics. I'm a liberal. I don't like violence. I've joked about whisking my family away to Canada. I don't trust a certain president farther than I could throw him. The list goes on. I never thought I'd be so invested in some decisions that were made for this country, and maybe I'm still not, but I feel like I am. Sometimes when I'm in Army wife mode, I feel like I have to check my beliefs at the door to fit in, but that is slowly not happening. I'm meeting people that feel like I do, at least about some things. I am who I am, I guess, take it or leave it.

Carson, and a little bit about California

Fort Carson that is. Today is the letter C. I will be moving to Fort Carson, Colorado, and it is bordered some seriously beautiful Mountains. However, Fort Carson is also like it's own little city. So not only do I have to learn my way around Colorado Springs, with it's twisty streets with five names apiece, but I have to learn my way around Carson, which also has twisty streets that mysteriously dead end, and different entrances on different roads. I am not the best with directions, so this poses as a challenge. I also have extreme anxiety about getting lost in unfamiliar places. I have a recurring nightmare about being lost, and I always wake up sweating.

Thank god I love maps. The husband got me a great map of all of Colorado Springs, and one of my Cav wife friends scored me a very easy to read map of Carson, complete with where important buildings are. I also thank god that he got new orders to Carson at the last minute--we were supposed to go to Fort Hood, Texas. That place is bigger than the state of Rhode Island, or so I've heard.

http://www.carson.army.mil/

Now a little tidbit about Fort Irwin, California, aka, "The Box". Todd got there yesterday for NTC. He is not too excited about it, but I am. Why am I happy about my husband training for his upcoming deployment in the California desert, you ask? Because when he comes home to Colorado, I'll be there.

Babies and Bookshelves

Although babies won in my poll, I cannot ignore my poor empty bookshelves. Today is the letter B.

The teddy bear seemed fitting since we're talking about babies. What do babies have to do with moving, you ask? A lot when you're moving onto an Army post in 3.5 weeks. We don't have any kids, and sometimes I feel like quite the outcast around my Cav wife friends. Everyone has kids or is pregnant...or both. My uterus is a barren cave right now, and we plan on keeping it that way for a few more years. While I might feel my ovaries go all a-flutter when I see a cute kid, it definitely goes away when they start screaming, pooping, eating, etc. No way man.

Thankfully, I've recently met two pretty cool fellow Cav wives that have no plans for kids for awhile either. One lives in my neighborhood, and the other's husband is deploying with mine. I'm hoping for childfree girls nights in our future.

Now onto bookshelves. I started packing last weekend, and even though I only packed up my books and decluttered, my apartment feels so empty. Behold, my empty bookshelves, and all my glorious books in boxes:

Very sad, but we have two empty bookshelves in Colorado waiting to be filled. This also means that I can buy more books.

Any recommendations would be lovely.

I have issues.

You would think someone in my position would avoid depressing songs, TV shows, movies, etc, at all costs. But no. It's like I seek them out.



I listen to sad songs, I cry.
I watch reruns of Army Wives, I cry
I go and see effing Stop Loss, which was terrible and innaccurate, and I still cry.

At least there were hot men in Stop Loss, no matter how much it insulted my intelligence.





I really hope that I'm not some kind of basketcase when he's deployed. Sometimes I think that I will be, and then sometimes I think I'll be ok. And I guess if I'm being realistic, it'll be a little bit of both. In all honesty, I fully intend on finding a therapist soon after moving to Colorado. Hopefully Tricare will cover me going off post, because I really don't want to go to ACS for it. I wonder if they'll cover me without a diagnosis? I wonder what it would be? Situational anxiety? Who knows.

Rut, anyone?

I haaaaate the last few weeks of school. There is a month and a week left until moving day, and it cannot come soon enough. All the things that I've put of all semester are needing to be done, like now. Can I please wake up on May 10th to a fully packed apartment and no huge papers or client notes to catch up on? Thanks.

I'd also like to sit down and have a real conversation with my husband. I don't want to have to catch up on each others' lives over the phone every night after 10pm. It's getting really old. Rephrase, it's been old for about a year now. We're less than a month away from our one year anniversary though, so that's sort of fun. He's getting a gas grill, and I'm getting a Wii, if we can find one. Neither of us are very good with surprises when it comes to gifts.

Cav wife update: It looks like we will be moving while Todd is deployed, or at least I'll be moving all our crap. They are building new jr. officer housing on post, and they're bigger with bigger garages, and supposedly are nicer. Plus we'll only be connected to one other unit as opposed to three. Rumor is that it will have to be a self move, and that the Army won't pay for it or provide trucks. Lovely, lets have all of these wives and kids move. Poop on you Uncle Sam.